I Have Breast Cancer

November 6, 2016 was the most remarkable day in my life. It brought about two things in me. A great runner and a scaredy cat girl who have nonchalantly felt a bump on her left breast. 

My morning went by having the greatest run of my life, I got to run 25km, my longest run by far. This was supposed to be one of those training days for my upcoming marathon for TBR (The Bull Runner) 2017. I was elated by the thought that I was able to finish strong with about 4:12hrs time. It was pretty slow compared to all the "mamaw" runners out there but hey I am super proud of myself nonetheless.


That night, after having dinner, I played with my baby boy on our bed with my husband and my husband's cousin in the room. While doing so, I just happen to touch my left armpit because there were some hair growth and breast ofcourse is near it, so I also checked myself for some bumps-- to my horror, I was able to feel a movable marble-sized bump. It scared the hell out of me. Btw, in previous self-examination I felt nothing... except for one instance that I remember 2 months prior this, where I felt a peppercorn-sized bump, but I was hesitant and didn't think too much about it due to my menstrual cycle and feels like its just a normal cyst.

I asked my husband's cousin, Khay, who is a nurse to check it too for confirmation and she immediately advised me to see a doctor. I was then crying... My husband told me to have a sick leave the next day and see a breast specialist.

I ended the night praying that hopefully it's just a cyst... or a benign tumor... anything as long as it's not life-threatening.

November 7, 2016 I've decided to go to TMC (The Medical City) due to its proximity and commuting convenience from our place. I went straight to my insurance provider and I explained about my bump so the agent asked me to see their in-house GP doctor first. This initial doctor examined my breast and he also felt it and told me that it is about 2cm in size and was I sure that I just felt it last night because its very palpable already. But yeah, I haven't felt it before to be really honest. Firstly, I asked if he thinks its nothing serious... He replied, it's movable and doesn't look like it's attached on the muscles so he thinks its not serious... But he just let me get some breast ultrasound to check and be sure. So, I got scheduled for one... I have to wait for about 2hours for my turn. At that point, I wasn't really keen on the waiting caveat in hospitals... I realized that even in great hospitals, you should really be patient about appointments.



While inside the examination room, the sonographer technician wasn't talking too much, and in fact I can feel her tension... There were also a lot of typing about sizes and f*ck I thought I was only dealing with one bump!??!? My heart was racing... I didn't know what it is then but am sure it's not nice. The technician called the doctor to check all her findings, and to my dismay the doctor told me that you should remove this at once.

The report that I got have ratings in BIRADS. You could google about it to get more info. All i'm telling is, it is a rating of 1 to 6, ofcourse the higher number you get the more that your condition is alarming. I got BIRADS 4!!! This was my first to have this kind of test and boy have I passed the mark to be worried sick!!! :( It wasn't the best news at all... Since I didn't know any breast surgeon in the hospital, I just checked in the reception and checking by their schedule, I think I couldn't make it to have another doctor's appointment. My energy was drained from all this news, so I just didn't bother already. Ofcourse, Google was all I have to access what the hell is that rating telling me... and the articles just got me more worried. I just wanted to go home and cry...

November 8, 2016 I got to my insurance again at TMC and was able to get a schedule with Dr. Maria Kaiserin Lipana at 2pm... I was already there at 11am! And when I got to the clinic to have me listed, I was already #7 on the list... I have to be patient all over again. By this time, I was eating all the salads, knowing instinctively that diet has something to do about this lump. When my time has come to see my doctor. She checked all the images of the ultrasound. She explained to me that a nice looking bump is oval in shape and have defined lines. Mine have an irregular shape. See, cancer cells have claws or hugs onto other cells. She then told me that with my rating, I should get a core needle biopsy to tell us what is the characteristic of that lump. She told me not to worry yet, as it is not all final... So, I asked to be scheduled the next day. 

By this time, I felt like being zombie and too wired on my inner emotions. It was too strong that I even cried when I heard the song of "Leaving on a Jetplane" while I was inside the FX! And just opted to have the 15min walk from the entrance of our subdivision to our house because I wasn't sure if I'm ready to face my baby boy with a happy face again. 

November 9, 2016 I was scheduled to have my biopsy at 1pm but should be in the hospital at 12pm for the preparation round. Good thing that my insurance was able to cover the expenses... It is expensive at 20k I think. I got into an operating room with three other individuals, my doctor, my nurse, my ultrasound technician (a guy). So, the doctor injected me with a local anesthesia to lessen the pain. Then she will put an ultrasound device on top of the lump while she tries to direct the needle onto the lump and extract samples of it. She told me initially that she'll just get around 9-10 samples but I believe I ended up having 12 samples. I can still remember the sound of the device... It's like the sound of a stapler. I didn't feel a lot of pain but when I got home I felt woozy and fell asleep for about 2hours maybe due to the effect of anesthesia. 

Now here comes the tricky part... The worst waiting game ever. I would need to wait for a week to get the results. So what I just did is prayed and prayed and went back to work to ease me from worrying too much about the result.

November 16, 2016 I went back to Dra. Lipana to finally know the result. My husband insisted that he'll have a half-day at work and come with me to the appointment. You know I've observed that whenever bad things are about to come my way, God always sends someone over by my side to comfort me... And on that day my heaven-sent angels are my husband and my Tita Mylene... My husband and I were a bit shocked by the result. 8/12 of the samples are positive from cancer. My mind got blank and just heard some bits of pieces of information. Good thing my husband was there beside me who took note of all the tests that I needed to do. We didn't talk about it right away, we both know that if break the silence between us and talk about cancer, we will just cry and be emotional. We just busied ourselves with the tests that needs to be done (liver ultrasound, blood work, chest xray, histopath of my biopsy, and mammogram! at the age of 27...) and we just did whatever we can crunch on the remaining time that we have at the hospital.

I said yes to my long time boyfriend of about 9years then. This happened last May of 2015. I remember that that moment I was only feeling joy and contentment. I felt like my future coming to a happy fairytale. So happy.

Back with a little vengeance

Yes, this blog shall rise from the dead once again...

Please watch my first official video that I made! :D Yeyyy...
It's a video capsule to remind me of the happiest 48hrs of my life as of yet.

La Vie En Rose

Last day of January and the first post of the month..

I have been contemplating on the subject: LIFE. It's a lot to take in. To understand what to do more with it is too much to think about. I have learned that now. Atleast, I got to think about what I really want to do... and all the little hobbies and things that I needed to get into.

1. I have been writing on a journal, a small tiny pink and black notebook. Writing mainly about what I consider significant for the day, and all the small things that made me smile and happy. Just to remind me that my life isn't that much of a crap after all.

2. Make-up! Ofcourse this site has been lacking on that department, but my life isn't lacking on it. In fact I have acquired (been gifted) with a lot of make-up stuff hence I am personally enjoying my old and new make-up to create a simple fresh look on a daily basis.

3.1 Action plan... that's what eating my mind when I don't watch any American series on my free time. I have actually started on the fitness department. (whoa... big statement!) Well, that's sort of true, I have started pushing myself to go into our condo gym and use the treadmill for 15 -30min and afterwards I take in rounds of walk to take in the cool fresh air at night. It's actually a good thing, it clears my mind! And I feel better after.

3.2 On the travel department though, not a lot of travels have been solidified yet... It sucks when I don't look forward to something. It's awful. Hopefully our small local travels will materialize though.

4. Can I just say that our kitty kat at our house in Balanga is looking ever so cute and cuddly!

Well that's about it for the month of January...

Oh and last thing, this La Vie En Rose rendition by 'The Mother' in HIMYM, made me amazed by her nice vocals! She did not make a good impression when she was first revealed in the show, but through her singing, she have won my heart to be Ted's wife!!! Listen!

The Year That Was and The Year That's Coming..


Reflecting. It's basically what I have been doing for the past couple of weeks... I have been slowly figuring things with what I want in my life. On how to give this precious life a worthy living. Like everyone else, I want to optimize every good thing that life can offer... I want to fit in all of my ideas/dreams/goals and whatnots.

Apparently, I find it difficult to actually think through this matter seriously. Somethings I know for sure... Somethings I can't fathom how I'd be able to do.

It's really puzzling me. Hopefully, the pieces will fall into place in time.

Well, the things that I do know for sure are my lessons learned this 2013, and the small resolutions that I want to live up for 2014. That I can share with you without a fuss.

1. Everything changes, so make happy thoughts now. Change is inevitable, that's a fact. I have learned and proved this to myself again this year. You just can't hold on to a lot of things these days, most specially you just can't hold onto some of your dearest people on earth. Physically, they just come, stay for a while, and go. Even if it hurts and even if it's hard. We just have to let them physically go... This is the reason why memories to me are precious, most specially the happy ones. Striving to have great memories with the people around me is a big thing for me. This intangible thought is the only thing that I can hold onto forever, for as long as my brain functions. It doesn't hurt to take photos, as pictures are a great tool to make memories tangible.

2. Planning fails, but plan still and try again. Over and over my big plans have doomed to failure. I can't control every minute things in all of my plans, some other factors are also needed to make it work. And  I may have had contributed some to make it fail as well...Yes it is upsetting at some point. But what do I do? Negatively speaking, plans are doomed to fail somehow... *sigh* But hey, I just thought at this moment that the other plans that I'm not truly planning on happening are working fantastically! Which I'm still greatly thankful for. So yes, I have not lost my faith in planning things in a loose manner. Plan and try again is still the way to go!

3. It's now or never, so just do it! I have the same freaking resolution as everyone does, to have a healthy lifestyle, to be fit. It's annoying how I also want to have the same resolution as to what every commercial and ads are pressing in on our society. I know for sure that this has gotten into my head because of the dozen, wait it's actually bajillion, social pressure that I have been seeing and getting in my environment. Though they can practically be correct on this one. Anyway, I have medium to zero tolerance on eating sweets and other delicious stuff... So yes, an exercise routine is now or never. Btw, the need to maintain my figure and enhancing it may come in handy in combatting bad stuff that comes with gluttony! Lol. Oh wait, this shall/may also be applied to hobbies that I want to try and enhance myself on. Just do it.

4. Happiness may not always make you feel happy, but do what makes you happy. When we set our goals and achieve it, we'll expect that it shall translate to feeling elated. This have happened to me... I thought achieving my goal is all there is just so to make me feel elated but naaahhh. It just felt okay or aptly to say, it just felt right. I have felt this feeling before, but I can't specifically know what it is that's wrong... Thankfully, there's Gretchen Rubin, I was only able to understand it better when I read 'The Happiness Project', she has elaborated her thoughts about this matter. So, you might wanna check out her book for that. It's a great read! Going back, I'll just do what makes me happy. I have to indulge myself in some of my desire from time to time. Doing this will be a great break from all the mundane things I do daily.

5. Travel/explore when you can. (This is in relation with #4 since this makes me happy!) For all the things that I have done in life, I have found myself the happiest when I am travelling and getting lost.

6. Love yourself, ad you'll thank yourself for it. This one is ofcourse, self-explanatory. :P


It's gonna be a fresh start for all of us in a few hours!

Have the greatest time.

Sunday Inspirations

Body Beautiful and Some Obsession

Never have I thought that I will be this giggly seeing Miranda Kerr's youtube videos with Net-A-Porter. I have only heard about her buzz when she was together with Adam Levine and then I found out her modelling for Victoria's Secret. Being one of VS Angel means you have a great looking bodeeehh! And that was just about it. Period...

Apparently, it is revolutionising once you have gotten to see her routine and some of her personal preferences. It's truly inspiring!!!!!! And makes me want to copy and replicate her ways. *Laughs*

It was like seeing someone whom I want to be like in the NEAR future. I am soooo jealous of her slim body and on how she's maintaining her figure! O-M-G... I'm not the type who gets envious easily with other girls' assets, but this is a totally different case. I reckon that I am more in awe about the process of going through drinking/eating healthy stuff incorporated with some exercises plus just living a better lifestyle more than the figure itself.

I have just finished reading Gretchen Rubin's 'The Happiness Project' and it has pushed me to polish my lifestyle and my well being to a different level in which would mean that I'd feel more happy about myself. :) And seeing Miranda Kerr's videos made me want to try what she's doing! I mean what harm is there to try out the superfoods that she's having?

I just needed to do this. :)

I have scouted a good supplier of superfoods --> The Healthy Grocery *check it out!*
I'll try ordering at some point next year as they aren't shipping any out because of the holidays.

Hurrrrreyyyy, I hope to kickstart my new year by adding in some new stuff here and there. Good luck to me!

And to those who are trying stuff like this, please share you experience with me.

On other note, I'm obsessed with Pentatonix' Daft Punk Cover and Ellie Goulding's Burn. I couldn't get enough of them... Whenever I wanted to feel more festive by myself, i'll listen to them. Atleast, even when I'm at work I can still feel a bit festive in my own way. :B Nyahahaha...

Christmas Dinner at Casa Verde

Casa Verde Restaurant originated all the way from Cebu and has recently opened a new branch here in Manila! And am so pleased that it's near me, only in Balara near UP. It's really heaven sent for us north people. Which brings me to a though, that, I can often try their delicious food anytime! Their food are super yummy and affordable for what they serve. Super good for sharing serving sila! Kalurkey!!! Though they say it's more cheaper in Cebu daw, but that's ok atleast I don't have to go all te wayto Cebu for this. Hihi.

We chose Casa Verde for our Team Christmas Dinner kasi na-enganyo kami sa haba ng pila sa labas. We thought, they must have something really really goodfor people to wait in line. And we're right!!! This is the newest buzz in UP Town Center!!!


We all had Brian's Ribs and a big piece of Mightyton Burger! Boy oh boy are we so full and a wee bit sleepy because of super filled tummy. Grabe lang, parang nafull-tank agad ang tiyan ko!!! Pero okay lang, masaya naman siyang kainin together with friends. 😝

I'll ring my othe friends here too kasi it's a must try. So you should try them out too. 👍

Christmas day is fast approaching!!!

Just two more days... :)

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